Settling In....To a Couple of Things...

We are finally settled into this new house. Things are slowly starting to get back to normal. But so many things are changing as well. The last two weeks has been full of peaks and valleys in so many areas of my life...I love our new house, but miss our old one terribly. It was "home" and this house is home, but doesn't quite feel like it yet. Now, don't get me wrong I love this house and am so grateful and blessed beyond comprehension that we got something we have always wanted. It just takes some getting used to. We are about to begin this journey that God called us to in about a week or so. Homeschooling our kiddos!! It has been an emotional roller coaster for me. I am sooooo very excited about it and so are my kids, they are begging me to start now!! But in an instant I can be paralyzed by fear. Fear that I will in some way "mess my kids up." Fear that I might get sick again and not be able to teach them for a while. Boy, is the enemy ever alive and well!! I am well aware that it is just him trying to give me this spirit of fear and change my mind and plug them right into school again. I also know that would have me in just as much fear!!!! Anyway, my friend gently reminded me of this. She said, "if God in His sovereignty calls you to something, do you really believe that He would call you to fail? and she also said you don't want to not do this just in case something happens and you get sick" Hmm... I thought to myself, why didn't I think of that. It put my spirit at rest. I know that God called me to this. I know we will have an amazingly wonderful year! And you know what I can do it.... I know I can. My kids mean so incredibly much to me that I will go to the ends of the earth for them, so of course I can teach them...who better?? right??!! It has been real fear, the kind that grips you when you least expect it, the kind that makes you feel like a failure before you start, a fear that points out your shortcomings and mess ups, a fear that leaves you in tears. But My God is the Ultimate Teacher, and He lives in me..... there is NOTHING to Fear!!!!